As your boss, i constantly review your performance. Yours is not good. You insist on sucking. Sucking hard. Youre totally useless out there at your desk! Seeing as you wanna suck so bad and negatively impact my companies finances, ill make sure you now suck really hard and really good! By the time I'm done with you, you'll be my top earner! Youre scared but you can't lose your job, so you'll have to just suck it up! hahaha.
Added: 9/9/19